I hate your face
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
