What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Randomize
