Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
