I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
found the other keg... it's in the tree
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
