Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize