called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
