ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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