i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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