Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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