I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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