He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
