i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize