Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
