The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize