three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
