Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
