I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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