Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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