There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
