Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
