im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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