Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
