No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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