So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
