I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize