There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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