Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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