It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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