it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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