What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Randomize
