I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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