You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
