these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
