I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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