I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
