I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
