I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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