What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
These tits shall not be calmed
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
