East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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