Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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