I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
