Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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