Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.