I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
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I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.