Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I can text with my tongue
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.