If i come over, it means nothing
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
