The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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