what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
