Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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