you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
