so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
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