Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
