I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
