That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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