If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.