i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Still dying that you shit outside
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?