part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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