I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
