so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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