I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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