he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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