I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
