pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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