What a fucking waste of an outfit
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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