I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dicks are not precious.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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